There are really 2 things that have changed my world in relation to the fear of failure and humiliation and what other people might think of me. And truly, this shift in perspective will change your entire mindset. Let’s dive in!
Whose opinion do you really care about?
Your small-minded friends and family?
If you wanna stop living like other people, you’ve gotta stop acting like other people.
And you’ve certainly got to stop living for their reactions. Never take advice or judgement from someone you wouldn’t be willing to trade places with.
We’ve talked about this before here in our blog, as well as on the vlogs:
Stop living for the praise and approval of other people and START living to make YOURSELF proud!!
What would it look like for you to become a person that YOU are proud of? Write it down. And write it down everywhere!
As you start to get clear on that, and you really start to turn UP the volume on that picture in your mind, it will allow you to turn DOWN the volume of the negative Nellies or small-minded Sallies in your life.
And what’s the second thing that will help you bust through the fear of failure and humiliation as a female entrepreneur?
Have radical transparency with everything you do.
This truly is a game changer, because it manages the expectations of everyone around you. In fact, in the world of high-powered negotiations, this is a tool called an accusation audit.
If I tell you every possible bad thing about me before you have a chance to accuse me of something, then when you go to bring it up, it doesn’t sound nearly as bad. Defense lawyers call this “taking the sting out”.
Before they put their client – the defendant on the stand – they tell all of the not great things about him before the prosecuting attorney has a chance to do it. It lessens the impact on the jury when they can properly manage the expectations.
If your biggest fear is looking “foolish”, then put it out there right from the start – on your terms! Tell everyone what you’re about to do, and use some of the following power phrases:
- I’ve set a goal so big that it terrifies me.
- I know I may look and feel like a fool when I put myself “out there” for the world to see, and honestly, that scares me so much that it ALMOST stops me from even trying!
- But do I really want to live my life as a coward? And never know what I’m truly made of?
- It may take me several attempts to get it right, and it’s highly likely that I will fall on my face a few times
- But I am committed to fail forward and to learn from my mistakes until I reach my goal
- And I need your support. I might need to practice on you or run some drafts by you, and get your feedback as if you were one of the customers in my target market
- This will help me increase my confidence
- You can be my safety net and my soft landing ground
- Will you please cheer for me and encourage me?
- I know it might sound crazy what I’m doing, but it’s something I must do for myself, for my family, and for my future
- Thomas Edison failed over 1000 times with attempts at a light bulb, and those public failures didn’t kill him! I can do this too!
- If being broke and miserable is normal, I’m ok to be weird!! I owe it to myself to try, and if that bothers you, it’s ok. I’ll reach back out after I’ve crossed my victory line
If you put these statements out in the world, then it’s going to manage the expectations of the people around you.
Deal with failure and humiliation
Y’all, please hear my heart on this, wimpy women will never change the world. Wimpy women don’t cross the finish line in ANYTHING.
So if you really believe in your gut that your dreams are WORTH it…then you’ve got to become willing to eat rejection and failure like vitamins!
The first few times I heard this, it was sooooo foreign and terrifying to me. But the more and more I entertained this mindset, the more I began to realize how true and powerful it really is.
Remember, if you refuse to settle for the status quo and you really muster the courage to dream big…. then there’s only one way you can LIVE big, succeed big, and WIN big. You become willing to FALL big.
And that’s OK.
Because success isn’t determined by whether or not you fall down. It’s determined by whether or not you get back up!!
To overcome fear of failure and humiliation:
- In order to overcome fear of failure and humiliation as an entrepreneur, get clear on whose opinion really matters in your life.
2. Radical Transparency with everything you do shows everyone in your world what you’re planning to do and allows you to manage their expectations. Failure and humiliation will no longer worry you.
It actually sets a precedent that you most likely WILL flub it SEVERAL times before you get it right. Then, no one is shocked and surprised when it happens! That’s a good thing.
Start rehearsing these in your mind, again and again and again… Heck, reread this blog or watch the video that goes with it 4 times a day if you need to in the beginning.
It sounds scary at first, but I promise you that following these steps will create a massive difference in your outcome.