How to Embrace Life as a Purpose Driven Mom

On December 20, 2021
By Chaya Ben-Shabat
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Are you driving your life in purpose mode or reaction mode?

Now that the new year is just days away, this is a great time to switch gears, ditch old habits, and really get in control.

But whether it’s a brand new year, decade, week, day, or even a new moment, we all have the power to make the decision whether to be a purpose driven mom or a mom who’s sucked into all that drama.

(And if we’re not vigilant, the madness of life can totally sweep us away.)

Homework, school, runny noses, running errands, managing the finances, keeping the house clean―it’s easy to get sucked into all that and go through your day in survival mode rather than “LIVING” mode.

In today’s vlog I’d like to invite you to sit with me for a few minutes, as we share what it ACTUALLY takes to be purpose driven moms who LIVE and LOVE each day.

So, if point A is where you are today, and point B is where you want to be, you’ve got to figure out the most efficient and effective way to get there. It’s like high school geometry. You want that straight line between the two points, not some meandering squiggle of drama.

Once you’re looking at where you need to be on that roadmap, then you can figure out the steps you need to take.

Here’s how it plays out in my life.

I started this practice of “reverse engineering” when my son was born. It began with my annual routine, War Week (which you hear me talk about all the time.)

If this is your first time hearing about War Week, you can see what it’s all about here.

What’s up with War Week?

War Week is one week a year I set aside to address all the ways I’ve been sucked into drama or settling for the status quo. You know, all the things I’m not 100% pleased, proud and satisfied with……and I completely go to war on them.

Then, I plan…oh no, the “P” word!

Again!

This is a fun plan, though. Think of it like setting dates with yourself and your favorite people, so you can live with full-on joy, excellence and passion in every area of life.

War Week totally changed my relationships.

Many War Weeks ago, I decided to tackle one area that was giving me a hard time. Being the best mama I could be for my son.

And I asked myself, “What do I want my son’s memories of his childhood to be?”

When my son is all grown up, happily married, God willing, with a bunch of crazy kids and thriving in life, what do I want him to remember about this time with me as his mama?

What do I want those memories to be? Those belief systems to be? The experiences?

And I literally made a list of those answers.

Ever since then, I’ve been working to check off everything on that list. And, every War Week, as I’m looking at it, I’m also refining and adding. It’s a fluid check list, and it will always be a work in progress. Because EVERYTHING in life is absolutely an organic work in progress.

But how do you turn that list into practice???

You schedule it. Block it in. Set time to get a weekend or even an afternoon away with just one of your kids, so they each get time with you.

Here’s what I did.

When I plan my calendar for the year (as a part of War Week), I block out time for these activities. I schedule family trips, whether international or RV road trips or just visiting my parents―whatever those trips or experiences are, I add them to my calendar.

Those become my cornerstones for the entire year, before―and this is key―any other priorities are added.

As I was putting all these pieces into place, I knew that everything in life has a price tag…and mine looked pretty hefty.

But this was my dream!!! What was I going to do?

I didn’t want him to grow up reading about life as a theory in a textbook; rather, I wanted him to experience the WORLD as his classroom. So, as I was building my “Dream Life,” something weird happened.

I realized it actually helped me become focused on the type of income I needed. It gave me the drive for the type of income and success I needed to create, so I’d have this kind of freedom and flexibility.

And it’s never too late to start.

Your finances may be a mess right now, but it is never too late to start implementing this practice.

It doesn’t matter if your children are teenagers. And if they’re already grown up and living on their own, you can start this with your grandchildren.

Once you become clear and purposeful about the types of experiences, memories, relationships, and values you want to share with your children, begin to map out the when, what, how and where.

You’re going to look at all 12 months of that and block in those day trips, the books you want to read together, the hikes you want to go on, the manicures you want to schedule with your 5 year old.

I’m looking at my son, who is 13 and a half right now, and I can’t help but wonder where did the last 10 years go??? He should still be three! I remember crawling into his crib and snuggling him to sleep when he didn’t feel well.

Don’t let the time pass you. Wherever you are in life with your kids, start now.

At the end of the day, it’s the character that counts.

The fancy things aren’t what really matter.

It’s not the international trips, it’s the values and character that you cultivate together. If you can’t do an international trip, find someplace close that will expose your child to a new culture or historic event or a natural phenomenon.

Or, you can choose something completely free that will benefit others, like donating coats to a woman’s shelter for winter or taking long walks along the beach to talk and pick up trash.

The takeaway is, your child’s personal value system can be built, regardless of the amount of money in the bank.

So here’s my challenge for you.

I invite you this year, this month, this week to carve out some time to get crystal clear on the type of mama you want to be…and, most importantly, the impact you want to make as a family unit in this world.

I promise you every ounce of time, effort and energy that you invest into this project will be the most precious return you have EVER experienced.