Are You a High-Powered Quitter?

On July 23, 2020
By Chaya Ben-Shabat
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I first noticed the trend of quitting in my early twenties, as I was embracing life as a yuppie in Dallas, Texas. Two years out of college, I was on the corporate fast-track in global banking while my employer sponsored my MBA in a prestigious private school. I was in my element, surrounded by other goal-oriented high-achievers. We all had big dreams, big ambitions, and big plans to make it all happen.

All was well and good for the first term or two, and then I began to notice that a sizable number of my fellow female classmates were dropping out of the program. Quitting. Although I could fully understand why, I convinced myself I wouldn’t be one of them.

I mean…yes, I was working a 50+hour week at the bank, and yes, I was commuting two hours a day, but that’s just what people are expected to do these days, right? Yes, I was sitting in my grad school classes on weeknights, and weekends, plus studying with every spare moment in between and no extra time for family or leisure. But this is just a short-term sacrifice for a long-term gain, right? And yes, my bosses are ego maniacs and my co-workers are miserable people, but this is just all part of the equation in the great American Dream, right?

Right?

Wrong.

At least, it turned out to be wrong for me.

As it turns out, I wasn’t cut out to be miserable my whole life.

But I didn’t go from Corporate America poster child to a disenchanted truth-seeker overnight. It was a gradual process as I slowly began to open my eyes to a different perspective of the world around me. However, there was one major turning point that shifted the game for me.

I remember sitting in a meeting one day surrounded by my managers and peer team. While my body participated in the meeting, my mind and thoughts floated elsewhere (as they often do in endless corporate meetings), and I began to take stock of everyone in the room.

All of a sudden I was staring down the barrel of a gun directly into my future. My bosses were actually showing me exactly what my life was going to look like in twenty years if I didn’t make some serious changes. They were absolutely miserable, driven by their status and next promotion, did nothing but talk about other people all day and complain about everything around them. They were stressed out, strung out, and living for Fridays. But here was the kicker: they were spending more time with me, their fledgling protégé, than they spent with their own families.

And that’s when it hit me:

If I don’t so something different with my life NOW, I’m going to be exactly like these people in 10-20 years.

I’m going to be the one that has nothing to live for but my status and next promotion.

I’m going to be the one hating my life and leaving my fate in the hands of a corporation.

But hang on a second.

Does it have to be that way?

Is this really the Great American Dream?

Does this world really have nothing more to offer me than working as a slave to a job for 50 years in the hopes of some magical payoff in the end?

Do I really have nothing more to offer the world than working as a cog in the system?

No, that was not going to become my fate.

And on that very day, in that very meeting, I began searching and praying for a better way.

In fact, I even took it a step further. I started to look at my coveted MBA through different lenses. Let’s face it. I was chasing that master’s degree to puff up my ego, fit in with my desired circles in society, and quite frankly, living with a big fat case of FOMO.

So, I started to dig deeper and look into two things:

I got serious about finding the real meaning of success and what it takes to get there.

In less than a year’s time from that moment of clarity, I had resigned from the bank, withdrawn from graduate school, and embarked on my journey as an entrepreneur.

I started off with training wheels, as an independent contractor in direct sales. But Heaven was kind to me, and I became successful quite quickly. From there I took the full plunge and started my own company, which led to other ventures, and my life has been one crazy, fabulous roller coaster of freedom ever since.

Within my first year of leaving the bank, I was making over $100k more than my banking income. In my second year, I quadrupled my income. Somewhere between my sixth and seventh year, I hit millionaire status, and I’ve never once looked back and wished I were still sitting in that bank office.

Becoming a high-powered quitter has very little to do with money.

But becoming a high-powered quitter actually has very little to do with the money. It has everything to do with a sense of freedom, purpose, true happiness, and fulfillment. Those are really big words and even bigger states of being that do not come cheaply or quickly. I had to learn how to sacrifice my ego and shed my old sense of self. One of the most important lessons I had to learn was how to play the long game instead of the short game. I’ve had to learn the hard way that failures are nothing more than feedback on my journey to who I want to become. And, I’ve had to learn that loving myself is the necessary first true love.

Has it all been easy and pretty? Heck no. I’ve had more detours, bumps, poor moves, and stupid decisions than I care to recount. But one thing is for sure: I have been able to live every single day knowing that I am the architect of my own life.

I became a professional quitter.

But quitting my job at the bank wasn’t the only time I quit. In fact, looking back on it, I’d have to say that I’ve become a professional quitter. A high-powered quitter.

And just in case you’re curious, quitting isn’t easy.

When I quit the bank and grad school, my friends and family freaked out. And my bosses laughed in condescending scorn. When I walked away from my first entrepreneurial venture in direct sales, it sent shockwaves through the sales force of a million people. Because “no one” had ever walked away from the top position.

When I left my first marriage, it almost broke me. Emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially. I had nothing left in my bank account and nothing left in my soul. Then shortly thereafter, I made a decision to walk away from the spiritual beliefs I was raised on.

So, four times in my life, I’ve quit.

Four times, I’ve thrown everything out the window and started from scratch. Four times, I’ve rebuilt my entire identity, on a different level each time.

However, let’s be clear. None of the quits were haphazard.

None of the quits were because I was too weak or giving up on myself. Every single quit was a strategic decision to re-position my life. With every quit, I was making a conscious choice to raise the bar of excellence for myself. I was moving higher into my purpose and my calling.